You and I are not in The Big Club. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' ", 66. ", 52. You ever notice that? George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. Amen and Awomen. That's against their interests. No nothing. ", 79. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. ", 33. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. [] I look at war a little bit differently. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . They dont wanna hear from you. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? ", 6. Others see it half empty. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. "How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. They own and control the corporations. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". "I have certain rules I live by. "The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. "Laugh often, long and loud. ", 124. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. They dont give a fuck about you. It gloriously backfired, Dictionary.com just added several new LGBTQ+ words & also grundle, Love, drugs & the club: As a gay man, life looks different with a new disability, Kim Petras says the road to fame while trans was twice as long, School bans parents as a threat to kids over LGBTQ-affirming posts, Sam Smith is trending on Twitter and the discourse is truly Unholy. The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. From Life Is Worth Losing. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". It doesn't matter what side you're on. They dont care about you at all. "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". They OWN YOU. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. ", Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. "I have lots of ideas. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. "I was a loner as a child. "In America, anyone can become president. ", 41. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. They dont fall out of the sky. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Twitter sets this cookie to integrate and share features for social media and also store information about how the user uses the website, for tracking and targeting. '", 73. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. Carlin is usually spot on. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. They are irrelevant. '", 123. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. ", 65. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. Its you. ", 58. Deal with it. George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? George Carlin, Were so self-important. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. Everybody complains about politicians. They don't want to hear from you . George Carlin quotes are hilarious. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! ", 53. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. he was a conservative. By programmers in one hour. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. Enjoy! Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Join. ", 81. You don't. You have no choice. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . George Denis Patrick Carlin ( May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. ", 98. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, Religion has actually convinced people that theres an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. The truth is, we dont have people like that. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Everybodys going to save something now. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. ", 23. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. He's not a cheese. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. They own everything," the quote reads. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. Cookie associated with embedding content from Snapchat. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. ", 101. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 82. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. After that, they don't want to know about you. They should be more vivid. ", 37. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. George Carlin's 'Wake Up America' bit went viral in July 2020. On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. ", 87. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. And I didn't really care in the first place. Say what you want about America land of the free, home of the brave we got some dumb**s motherf**kers floating around in this country, Carlin says over the images. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. Carlin had 14 comedy specials, several published books and CDs, 5 Grammy awards, many TV and movie roles, and the title of being the first-ever host of Saturday Night Live, all under his belt. '", 70. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. Everyone Practices Cancel Culture | Opinion, Deplatforming Free Speech is Dangerous | Opinion. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. Now one of his most famous routines has swept the internet a dozen years after his death. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 7. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. Thats all it is. ", 27. Forget the politicians. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Thats against their interests. 1. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ", 97. Whats that, a bonus? You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. I don't trust none of them. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. You have owners. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. ", 34. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. "It's never just a game when you're winning. You only get to hear cats. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife. The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. But He loves you. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. They don't want to hear from you. 01. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. ", 6. ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. ", 13. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. Its called fucking with people! ", 2. ", 68. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. The table has tilted, folks. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. God has a three-day weekend. [5] And another one: If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. At all. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Why? War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. "There's no present. Let's start with critical race theory. ", 25. Teach them to question everything. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. This cookie is set by Eloqua. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens.
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